Things were not going well.
- Someone stole my bag which had my car keys
- I got another C on a paper
- I didn’t get to see my family and friends
- I don’t have anyone in my city to vent to
I had neglected to face an emotion I hate. Alienation.
Ultimately, I couldn’t contain this emotion anymore. It exploded. Tears were everywhere.
I spent weeks scribbling “Help Me” along the borders of my notes.
Thank goodness for Jamie Tworkowski’s If You Feel Too Much. Often times I forget to reach out to others. I had to find my poster from my mom’s.
“You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.”
I finally reached out to someone. Boy! My point of view has been wrong this whole time.
My mom used to say: “You suffer because you want to”.
This new mentor rephrased it. “NO! You suffer because you don’t know another way. Let’s fix that.”
We are the definition of all the experiences we have had up until now. Things can be changed, though. Rewiring can take time. But it is possible.
Hope is real!
I need to remember that. Thank you, Jamie.