As Robert Frost summarized an idea about life.
As each day passes and I’m not in San Diego I realize that heading back will be hard.
And then maybe it won’t. But who are we kidding? Just because I’m here and not there does not mean that things will stop there. Things will happen. Things I won’t know of. Things people will want to avoid me from feeling. Things I won’t be able to participate, but instead only see from afar.
It’s incredibly heartbreaking when all the people I love are there and I am here.
And I know I should be moving forward and meeting new people, but it’s hard when other people remind you of other people. Others who want you in ways that you belong to others in. There is only so much a phone and social media can do, ya know?
Homesick. That is the current diagnosis for my feels. And it sucks because there is no permanent medicine that will solve my dilemma within the next two years until I move back home.
So I must learn to adapt to these new environments. I’ll learn to love it soon. Eventually, I hope. In the meantime, I have a new family I need to integrate myself into instead of recoiling in my memories from home.